Catch Me If You Can
by Kirmon64
Summary: Mew's never been caught by anyone... but is that about to change?


Inspired by Angela Via's _"Catch Me If You Can"_ from the Pokemon the First Movie soundtrack.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this particular fic. Oh well.

* * *

To put it simply, I was in heat. 

Yeah, I know that humans think that all Legendaries have no gender, but then how do we reproduce? Let's face it, nothing is immortal, no matter what humans say, and we need to expand our numbers.

Anyway, getting back to the point. It's actually kind of rare for Legendaries to... er... you know... but right now I was most definitely craving a male companion, preferably a Mew like me. Only problem was, I had no idea where any other Mews were. So, I was quite worked up with not a male in sight. I'd go insane if I didn't find a way to vent my...frustrations.

So here I am, flying over the middle of nowhere, trees below and cloudless sky above, and I'm in heat _and_ a lame mood. I pity the next soul to cross my path.

"Whoa! Is that a _Mew_ up there?!"

The next soul to cross my path happens to be a trainer. I really do pity him. With a smirk, I zipped down to his level. He was actually kind of cute... I slapped myself both physically and mentally. I was so far gone that I was thinking about a _human_ like that? Just... no. "Come on! Hurry up and pick a Pokemon already! I wanna use up some energy!" Thankfully, he did just that.

"Go! Raichu!"

I did a little midair twirl. Puh-leeze. Like a Raichu could ever defeat me. If this trainer had any brains at all, he'd use a Dark type. The Raichu leapt at me in a Slam attack, which I easily dodged. "You'll have to be faster than that." I taunted.

The Raichu growled and sparks flew from its cheeks. It braced itself against the ground. I recognized the move; it was Volt Tackle. This trainer was better than I thought if he had a Raichu with that. The rodent launched itself at me again, this time with electricity crackling over its fur. Smirking, I concentrated and in the blink of an eye transformed into a Zapdos. A pink one.

Hey, what can I say? I like the color pink.

Anyways, the Raichu went wide eyed and then slammed into me full force. The electricity was absorbed into my cells, and I was far too large for the physical part of the attack to hurt much. I glared down at the Raichu. "That hurt you know." Yeah, I know it didn't really, but it sounds intimidating, you know what I mean?

Back to the battle. The rodent was just staring up at me, eyes wider than dinner plates. I guess he'd never seen a Zapdos before. Heck, even I haven't seen a real one. The trainer looked surprised too, but he never missed a beat. "Return, Raichu! Go, Absol!"

Ah, he was getting smarter now. I reverted to my normal form; I seriously wanted to get a workout with this fight.

The Absol growled at me. "Prepare to be defeated, cat!"

Oh, just some 'cat' was I? "I don't think so, freak."

It leapt for me, paws outstretched. I knew that if one of those claws got a hold of me, I'd have a scar that would take years to disappear. I teleported out of the way with ease and gave the Absol a smart rap on the head with the tip of my tail. "Bad... hey, what are Absols supposed to look like anyway? You look like a cross between a dog and a lawnmower."

With a snarl, the Absol leapt at me again, and I dodged again with ease. "Fight like a Pokemon, you pink coward!"

Okay, now he was really getting on my nerves. "You. Asked. For. IT!" I unleashed a beam of pure sunlight onto the freak, and then followed it up with a Fire Blast.

Now, all of the Absol was completely black. "Ow." it said, a little puff of smoke coming out of its mouth.

I smiled smugly and folded my arms. "Got anything else to throw at me, trainer?" I asked as the Absol disappeared in a beam of red light.

He took another ball off of his belt. "Streak! I choose you!"

I quirked an eyebrow at the Pokemon that emerged. With a nickname like Streak, I was expecting something like a Jolteon or Dodrio. Instead, there was a chubby little Sneasel sitting in the grass. It looked up at me with big and very cute golden eyes. "Just because you're a baby doesn't mean I'll go easy on you."

Still the Sneasel stared up at me.

I sighed. "Okay, you've got a choice: either fight or run back to your idiotic trainer." I'm not even sure the thing understood me, because it just kept staring. With another sigh, I began to build a Shadow Ball in one paw. Yeah, I know that Ghost attacks aren't very effective against Darks, but, heck, the thing looked like it was barely a week old! "Sorry kid, you're about to get-"

I never got my Shadow Ball fully built, or the rest of my sentence out, because the chubby little Sneasel on the grass, that cute little baby, suddenly flew at me faster than I thought was possible for... well, anything. Heck, even teleporting isn't that fast. One moment it was just sitting there with its cute eyes fixated on me, the next it was attached to my left leg and biting like crazy.

And let me tell you, that hurt. A lot.

"HOLY HO-OH! LET GO OF ME YOU LITTLE FREAK!"

I spun, dove, attacked it, heck, I even teleported and transformed a few times, but that little thing wouldn't let go no matter what I did. And I could feel myself weakening. Whatever attack that little Sneasel was using, it was draining my health faster than you could say Pokemon. Eventually, in my frantic attempts to get it off, I slammed the back of its head on the trunk of a tree. Instantly, its grip slackened. The little fiend stared up at me with those oh-so-cute-but-deceiving eyes for a few moments before falling limply to the ground. "Serves you right." I muttered as the beam of red light returned it to its ball. Then, I looked up at the trainer. "Hey, you really should think about trying out for the league. You'd beat anyone with that mini-demon of yours." I told him, even though I knew he couldn't understand me. "But capturing the most legendary Pokemon of all time (I admit, I've got a big ego) will have to wait. See, 'cause wild Pokemon are allowed to run from battles, and I'm no exception." I grinned and waved, then teleported away.

The moment I reappeared high in the sky, I knew that Sneasel had been a whole heck of a lot stronger than it looked. I was weaving through the air like a drunk (yes I know what that looks and feels like. Don't ask.) And let me tell you, that was no fun at all. You want to know why? Because I know from experience that drunk people usually end up fainting.

"Oh shit!"

And then I kinda crashed through the tree canopy and did just that.

* * *

The first thing I saw when I woke up was a metal wall. Great. That trainer had found me. Just great. The second thing I saw was a tattered red blanket covering my body. And the third... was a shelf? Okay, this was no Pokeball. So, where was I then? I pushed the blanket off of my body and tried to rise into the air, but I fell back onto the ground almost instantly. Okay, so no flying for now. I'd have to explore on foot. With a curse I realized that my transformation powers weren't in any batter shape than my flying ones, and I wouldn't get very far as a Mew. Having tiny arms and oversized feet makes it hard to walk, trust me. Plus there was the fact that my left foot was swollen and... wrapped in a bandage? I sniffed the material, hoping to catch a whiff of whoever had helped me. There was no smell on it. However... the blanket did have a smell. Kind of faint, but it was a familiar one, though I couldn't place whose it was. Okay, this was definitely getting weirder by the second. 

Looking around again, I spotted a pile of berries laying on a cloth nearby. What was up with that? Curious, I sort of dragged myself over to them and gave them a cautious sniff. They smelt delicious, but what if they were poisonous or something? My stomach ended up deciding for me when it growled loudly. "Ah what the heck." I muttered, scooping one into my mouth. "If whoever's helping me wanted to hurt me, they would've already."

I only meant to eat one or two, I really did, but pretty soon all of them were gone. "Oops. Heh heh." I grinned guiltily. "Oh well. Too late now-!" I stopped mid-sentence when I felt a tingling sensation in my poor swollen foot. I watched it more than a little apprehensively. What if whoever left those berries out _was_ trying to poison me?

It took me a little while to notice it, but I realized that the swelling was going down. It took around five minutes for my foot to be back to normal. Wiggling my toes, I remarked, "Well, those were some pretty amazing berries." Now I just had to find my way out of here and FIND A FRIGGIN' MALE POKEMON!

"Glad you liked them."

I whirled around, fur bristling. "Who's there? Show yourself!"

A tall, shadowy shape appeared out of the darkness on the far side of the room. I couldn't tell what it was, even whether it was a Pokemon or not, because it wore a cloak that covered its entire body. The only thing I could make out with any certainty was a pair of glowing purple eyes. Very creepy. The voice, on the other hand... was not. It was actually kind of high-pitched. Not like a girl's voice, just high. Soft, too. "Who are you?"

"Just a friend." he - yes, it was most certainly male - paused for a moment, and I took that opportunity to try to read his mind. I was surprised when I couldn't. So was this a Dark-type? Or just a human or Pokemon with great mental defenses? Or was it... gulp... a ghost? He seemed to study me for a few seconds. "I think you'll find that you'll be able to fly again."

I raised my eyebrow and concentrated for a moment. Sure enough, I rose into the air without a hitch. "Those were _definitely_ some amazing berries." Rubbing the back of my head with one paw, I added, "And... uh, thanks for the help."

"You're welcome." he sounded happy, or at least pleased.

"Er... if you don't mind, I'll just be on my way."

The purple eyes moved up and down; I ventured a guess that their owner was nodding. "You and I are alike in that; we value our freedom." there was a pause. "But in the future, I'd be careful, if I were you. If you hadn't've come down nearby this city, I never would've found you, and that trainer would have a Legendary Pokemon in his collection." I could have sworn I heard a soft chuckle. "And then you would've had to work with that little fiend of his."

I folded my arms. "Ha ha. Not funny. Now goodbye." with that, I zipped out a broken window and into the open sky. Normally, my policy is to never look back, but this time I couldn't resist glancing back to the abandoned warehouse.

Silhouetted in the broken window was a tall shape, partly covered by a brown cloak. I stopped in my tracks as I recognized him. From that muscular purple tail to those stubby little horn-ear things to those captivating violet eyes, I knew who it was instantly. _-Mewtwo?!-_ my _arch-rival_ had helped me? Something was seriously wrong with the universe.

He folded his arms and smiled. I didn't think he even could smile... That psychic voice, the more familiar one that sounded nothing like the voice that came out of his mouth, rang in my head. _-So? Are you leaving or do I have to chase you?-_

Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all. He'd definitely loosened up since I last saw him. Plus there was the fact that he _was_ quite handsome... and heck, genetically he was more than half Mew, so... _-Catch me if you can!-_

I watched him drop his cloak on the floor in the warehouse, then rise into the air with a shimmering blue aura. _-Try me.-_

Personally, I think that he was more than a little surprised when I transformed into a Mewtwo and tackled him to the ground.

"Y-y-you're not in h-heat, a-are you?" he asked nervously.

I wrapped my thick pink tail around his purple one and gave him a seductive smile, to which he swallowed nervously. "Maybe I am. You could help me with that little problem, you know..."

He stared at me for a full five minutes. I got the feeling he was waging an internal battle with himself. Finally, he let out a small, barely audible sigh. "Ah, what the hell..."

Before I could react, he pulled me close and kissed me.

'_Score!'_ was my final coherent thought.


End file.
